For me, cancer clarity has become a real thing. Your focus narrows. It becomes evident what is important and what is not. What is based in love, and what comes from fear.
What if, artist Kate Brown muses, we treated the environment as she treats her artwork—would we have polluted the very air we breathe if we’d truly understood that it is not empty, not nothing? Could we have dismissed it, destroyed it, knowing that air, oxygen, is tangible, like every corner of a canvas?
Maybe my body is a reflection of the world and this toxic disease is akin to the suffocating oceans and the blaze-engulfed Amazon.
Updates on my cancer journey are collected here, in chronological order with most recent appearing at the bottom. Some are password protected – please contact me for the password, as a temporary measure.
Doc says if I do this, my prognosis is Excellent. There is no research on my prognosis if I don’t do the protocol – basically because it wouldn’t be ethical to study that.
I’m up and ambulating twice that night. Kai brings all the nurses coffee because she’s amazing, and I notice they are very nice to me indeed! Well, except one nurse who got fed up with my tape, kept adding more and more, and eventually just wrapped me right up and told me to stop moving…
I have always been a writer, but I’ve treated this gift like a loyal pet, something that will always be around while I go off and do other, more ‘important’ things. I need to ‘make a living’, I need to work, I need to volunteer, I need to maintain my friendships, I need to play video games. But even loyal pets die.
The next day saw us move between the couch and the bed all day as we ate leftovers and finished the movie from the night before and watched two more. By 6pm, we were finally caught up!
But even this is so interesting. To her understanding, the doctor would normally biopsy the external of the ovarian cyst, which means that if the surgery had gone perfectly to plan, they wouldn’t have found the cancer, which was precisely contained within the ovarian cyst without any external evidence. So I’m extremely luck the cyst burst and had to be removed, otherwise I would have had ovarian cancer but no one would have known, which would not have had a good prognosis.